Cocktail Party Enthusiast T-Shirts

"One question: If this is the Information Age, how come nobody knows anything?"

"Me? I'm just one of those shadowy figures who inhabit the mysterious twilight world where the medical and legal professions meet."

"Come with me. I've found someone who'll talk square footage with you."

'Diplomacy is skating on thin ice without ending up in deep water.'

"Arrogant? Moi?"

"You're a lesbian, how nice, I'm a pisces"

"We slipped in the tub."

"Mr. Stephenson is the subject of a widely anticipated obituary."

"My husband's an intellectual pigmy"

"My name is Jean. I'll be your downer for the evening."

"This is Mr. Burke—he's a non-bank banker."

Homage to ex-husband.

"We'd like to go somewhere that will provide us with a rich source of after dinner anecdotes!"

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

'Here comes your Tequila Sunrise now.'

'I hear he won the Pulitzer for mathematics. Or was it the Emmy?'

'This is Charles. He and I are building a relationship.'

"No, I'm not currently in a relationship. I'm married!"

"I never do as I say. That's the beauty of a hypocritical oath."

The 2 Million Vietnamese You Meet In Heaven If You're John McCain

"Everybody, this is Mr. Bryce—Mr. Bryce is a salesman."

"I'm a banker, but I transcend my genre."

"You can't fool the american people - that's why I'm in exports."

"Thank God you're here. Walter has been Barry Manilowing us to death."

"One of nature's nobleman and a bag lady."

"I can't really talk about it. They're all for secret sexual stuff."

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

"He's been mentioned as a possible husband."

"Are you in a Miyake or did you just sleep in your dress?"

"I'm four and change."

"Have you two figured out that you're one of my nutty little juxtapositions?"

"God, they were fun then - women."

"The reviews said the reviewers were very clever."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."