Cocktail Party Lover T-Shirts

"I don't speak Yoga. I speak Pilates."

'Gosh, really? That must be pretty grim...'

Running on Empty

"Grasshoppers all around."

'You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen...'

"Here comes an out-of-print collection of short stories."

"Sorry about the mask. I'm always afraid my fame will overwhelm people."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Sofia, right? You hung out in the back of Professor Dillof’s anatomy lectures."

'I strive to remember people's names to make them feel guilty about forgetting mine.'

'Hold on! Now I remember, you swirl the wine first.'

Sad golf club shedding tears.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

On holiday.

Cocktails on the verandah.

'No ice.'

Cat Nip.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Bacchus.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Pina Coladas

We'll have Manhattans...

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

Shaken not stirred

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Balancing two espresso martinis

"An everything Martini, please."

You're the botanicals in my gin

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

In case of emergency, break glass.

"From right to left, you have your tekkamaki, your futomaki, and then your yamaimo roll. The little pile of pink stuff is ginger, the green one's wasabi. And, of course, you already recognize your vodka martini."

Margarita