Cocktail Party Aficionado T-Shirts

"This one is for converting a military base into a crafts center."

"Gee, you're not at all like your obituaries."

"Dickie and I were so relieved to hear that you were born with you hyphen."

"Now, you wait right here while I go ask my wife for a divorce."

'Rodney doesn't mingle so much as rotates!'

"Given what passes as normal nowadays, I doubt I'd even recognize the apocalypse if it came."

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

"This place has the best happy hour."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

I could have danced all night!

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

On holiday.

Cocktails on the verandah.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Party Animals.

'No ice.'

Cat Nip.

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Mr. Punch's Fancy Ball

"I just realized you're my entire entourage."

We'll have Manhattans...

Pina Coladas

"I think I speak for my entire generation when I say, 'Yes, I will have another drink.' "

Bar snacks served in bird-feeders.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"Death Star? Is that in the Valley?"

"An everything Martini, please."

"I love this time of day."

"She'll have a Shirley Temple, and I'll have a Shirley Temple's mother."

Shaken not stirred

"Think we'll still make happy hour?"

You're the botanicals in my gin

Balancing two espresso martinis