Cocktail Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Nobody move! I think I lost an eye."

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

Why did the chicken cross the road?

"You look great for someone who's just come through two years of litigation."

"Scotch and toilet water?"

"The delight of an evening cocktail is hard to overstate."

"Right now, I'm between naps."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

'They've set the bar too high!'

'Nice try, but you can't deduct your bartender as your 'drinking consultant.''

"Long-term, I like bonds; intermediate-term I like equities; and short-term, I like scotch."

'I'm just not feeling sufficiently incentivised today.'

"You have to invest for value these days. And these days I find the best value in gin and tonic."

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

"It's good to get hammered by something other than the economy."

"The only thing that still works well for me is hysteria."

New Muses

"To representation without taxation!"

"Honey, I'm home."

The birth of the martini

'As the plane is about to crash, we're offering passengers a complimentary drink.'

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

"I'm in not publishing."

"You really do something to my judgement and risk control."

Liquidity Lunch

"Do you ever catch yourself wondering what the hell's gone wrong with this corporation?"

'I think globally but I drink locally!'

'Fancy a spot of work after drinks?'

"I can't refill your prescription, Mrs. Rowley, but how about a frozen Daiquiri?"

'Better make it a double to calm my fears about a double-dip recession.'

"He may be fluent in French, but I'm affluent in every language."

"Oh, no! Hugo's tried snorting Pimms"

Scotch and soda on a drip.

'Here is your room with a minibar.'

'I decided to have all my happy hours in one night'