Cocktail Connoisseur Pillows

"Nobody move! I think I lost an eye."

"We spent the summer on the Côte de Jersey."

Why did the chicken cross the road?

"You look great for someone who's just come through two years of litigation."

"Scotch and toilet water?"

"The delight of an evening cocktail is hard to overstate."

"Right now, I'm between naps."

"It keeps me from looking at my phone every two seconds."

'They've set the bar too high!'

Bad news...we're running out of ice.

'Nice try, but you can't deduct your bartender as your 'drinking consultant.''

'I've lost faith in what Warren Buffett says to do, so I'm switching to what Jimmy Buffett says.'

"Long-term, I like bonds; intermediate-term I like equities; and short-term, I like scotch."

"You have to invest for value these days. And these days I find the best value in gin and tonic."

'I'm just not feeling sufficiently incentivised today.'

"The only thing that still works well for me is hysteria."

"It's good to get hammered by something other than the economy."

'The thing I like about jazz is nobody notices if I hit the wrong notes.'

New Muses

"To representation without taxation!"

The birth of the martini

'As the plane is about to crash, we're offering passengers a complimentary drink.'

"Honey, I'm home."

"He may be fluent in French, but I'm affluent in every language."

"I can't refill your prescription, Mrs. Rowley, but how about a frozen Daiquiri?"

"Do you ever catch yourself wondering what the hell's gone wrong with this corporation?"

"Oh, no! Hugo's tried snorting Pimms"

Liquidity Lunch

Scotch and soda on a drip.

'Better make it a double to calm my fears about a double-dip recession.'

"It's not you, Larry. I'm just tired of dating 'low hanging fruit'. "

"Oh, shut up. Who isn't in your shoes?"

'Fancy a spot of work after drinks?'

"You really do something to my judgement and risk control."

"My weight in nectar, on the rocks."