Aging Gracefully Observers Gifts

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

A new you. 'First, you've got to stop lying about you age.' It didn't start off well.

"I can't stay in this hospital bed too long. Everyone will think I'm too old...too fragile...ready for the home. I'm not ready for that!"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Parts Department

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Went with the hair plugs I see."

Aging Problems

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

"You're right, they are statins."

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall, go to hell."

"Lost most of my sight, hearing, teeth and hair. Thank God I still god my driver license."

"Miriam keeps me young."

A very fine vintage

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

'It makes you look fifty years younger.'

The Aging of Underwear

"Wasn't I lovely then eh, Tiddles?"

'I can't make you younger...odometer tampering is against the law.'

'You look quite distinguished with that gray hare on your head, Jim!'

'No Dear, the Tooth Fairy is long gone. I'm the Hot-Flash Fairy.'

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

The Girl With The Draggin' tattoo: 'Hot...Cold.'

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'