Ageing Observer Gifts

Same Sexless Marriage

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"Mommy, look! He's man-spreading!"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"She reminds me so much of myself at her age."

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

Trump attempting to pull down the thinker

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Gone to seed.

Old Tortoise

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

Oculist.

'I say, it really shows off your astigmatism to its greatest advantage, doesn't it?'

"I've finally got my head together."

'According to these statistics you'll probably outlive me...'

'His condition appears to imitate the stock market...good, good days...bad, bad days.'

'FQ...?'

'Maybe the world isn't getting less friendly, maybe you're getting grumpier.'

'I hope it's a quick knockout, I'm double parked.'

'Human Rights? You want to talk about Human Rights?? What the heck are you - a bloody communist??!'

'I don't think those apps have made Junior smarter.'

'I'm sure that once the 'new hire' stigma fades, they'll warm up a bit,,,'

"You missed our anniversary again."

'Good memory. Now turn around and let's try it again. I've put the chart on the opposite wall since your last visit.'

"The knees are the first thing to go."

People people and the people behind them.

'Kids today eh What do they look like'

'Ironically, he had vertigo.'

"You look a lot like one of us," this guy said. "Are you a Roscoe?"