Ageing Process Humorists Gifts

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Birthday To-Do List

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

"I feel like a newborn. No hair, no teeth, no bladder control."

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'I don't know which will come first.. retirement or draft?'

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"I'm sorry, but he only has 75 years to live!"

Old Darth Vader

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

Rodin's Generation Gap

'Aaaaaaaaaah forty seven. What a lovely age.'

Now showing: Retirement Village Vixens, You must be 65.

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

Mountain has tunnel called Carpal Tunnel.

"Kick me"