Ageing Process Humorists Pillows

The 4 Stages of Condimental Hair

"Why bother?"

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"Relax. At your age, it's common to have a nose hare now and then."

"I used to drink to forget. Now, age-related, short-term memory loss takes care of that for me."

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'Push'n 50, but ya still got it!!'

Birthday To-Do List

How are you feeling today? I feel just like a newborn baby. Really? Yes. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.

'I'd say you're a little late...'

Middle Age: When the four letter word you use most is 'What?'

"I feel like a newborn. No hair, no teeth, no bladder control."

"What do you mean, 'I'm in good shape for a man of forty'? I'm only twenty-six!"

"My inner child just turned 62. Where's his money?"

"You boys who have to take your medications with food, now's the time."

"It turns out my milk is actually aging cream...so, I use it to remove all those ugly age spots."

"Damn if I didn't start walking in this direction for a reason..."

'Face it dear, we are as old as we look!'

"There ain't enough room in this here town for two arthritics, stranger..."

"I call him auction man - his hair is going, his teeth are going, his sex drive has gone."

'I don't know which will come first.. retirement or draft?'

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

"I'm living proof that life begins at forty-three."

"He's at that funny age. It takes twice as long to get over a good time, as to have it."

"I'm sorry, but he only has 75 years to live!"

"How do you know my wish didn't come true."

Rodin's Generation Gap

'He's in a male 60 panic mode.'

Old Darth Vader

"Gosh Grandma, you must be over a million in dog years."

Getting older is....Getting involved in one upmanship over ailments and medications.

An old Dracula's false teeth fall out.

'Aaaaaaaaaah forty seven. What a lovely age.'

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"