Age Group Analyst Gifts

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

You know you're getting up there in years when your birthday cake requires that extra box of candles....

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

'I couldn't remember your exact age.'

Dr. and Mrs. Steven Mueller.

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

You're only young once but apparently there's no limit on childish. (Published originally on January 15, 2008.)

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

"I must be getting old. I've forgotten why I came down the stairs."

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

'They say ninety is the new eighty.'

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

"Google says it's some form of ancient timing device."

Retirement Age

"Here's the problem, I grabbed the wrong map. This isn't the Fountain of Youth. This is the Fountain of Middle Age."

Highway of Life. No, Ernie, we're on cruise control. It just seems like we're going faster the further we go.

"You reach an age where you start to question what you're DOING with your life...."

'Isn't she a bit young for you?'

"You know why men die earlier than women? Because they can."

"Sometimes I feel like Stone Age guy in Bronze Age world."

"No, actually. 40 is the new 60."

On today's "Ask Sadie" Radio Hour, we'll talk about the elephant in the room: Hillary Clinton's age. And Bernie's too. Forget all this PC nonsense, I'll just come right out and say it: Their age disqualifies them. These children don't know anything about life. I bet they haven't even gotten their first hip replacement yet. Nice to know we'll always be young to somebody. Earth is young to her.

"Yo! Check it out"

'Individually lemmings are fine, but get a bunch of 'em together and they'll head straight for the nearest cliff.'

"Seriously! My mother says she remembers when all you could do with a cell phone was make calls."

"OK Boomer."

"For some reason, you do most of the aging in February."

'I wonder what I'd feel like if I weren't taking vitamins?'

Find your doctor.

'True, he's an old dodderer now, but you should have seen him when he was a young dodderer.'

Man excluded from a group of other men.

Herd Mentality.