Age Gap Analyst Gifts

'One thing wrong with the younger generation, we don't belong to it anymore.'

Some old men are filthy with money or without money.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

"We added it just for the millenials."

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"Elon Musk just earned more than I'll ever earn in my whole life in the time it took me to say Elon Musk."

Low standard of living

"When I was your age, all we had to know was how to wind."

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

"A raise?! In my day, if we needed more money, we just borrowed it."

"Grandpa, what was it like living off the grid for most of your life?"

"Google says it's some form of ancient timing device."

"That's lovely, dear. Give me a heads-up when manners and intelligence get a little closer."

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers.'"

'He's a lot older than she is.'

Homeless / Stately Home Owner. Headline reads; 'Council Tax For Well Off Could Treble!'

"'Till death do you part?"

'I checked that birds and bees stuff on the internet, Dad -- it says you're full of baloney.'

"I'm working on texting my memoirs."

"I don't know cursive and you don't know emoji. I'd say that makes us even."

"The trouble with children is they don't act like adults."

"Please—no technology questions!"

"You know why men die earlier than women? Because they can."