Generational Gap Analyst Gifts

"Here’s a little walking-to-the-end-of-the-block money."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Kritik's Korner

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

'I'm doing a school report on 'the aging process,' Dad -- can I interview you?'

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

"We added it just for the millenials."

Harold was pleased to discover that his grandson was also a big tool fan.

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

"When I was your age, all we had to know was how to wind."

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"I dooon't know this sooonngg. I'm just heeeere with my daaaaaughter and her frieeeends."

"I'm your hip replacement."

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."

Lemonade/Prune-aid

"We invented your hair."

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

"A raise?! In my day, if we needed more money, we just borrowed it."

"Grandpa, what was it like living off the grid for most of your life?"

'They're not reliable.'

T-shirts read: 'Rock against racism' ; 'Classical against antisocial behaviour'

"Google says it's some form of ancient timing device."

"I'm working on texting my memoirs."

"I advised my intern that one must pick his battles. He asked me what video game I had in mind."

"Don't pay attention to my granddad. He's an old pilot and always calls us 'taildraggers.'"

'I checked that birds and bees stuff on the internet, Dad -- it says you're full of baloney.'

"That's lovely, dear. Give me a heads-up when manners and intelligence get a little closer."

"It's bad enough my kids know more about computers than me, but I'm not taking this from YOU!"

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"