Generational Analyst Gifts

"Why should our kids feel entitled to the lives our parents worked so hard to provide for us?"

"OK Boomer."

"The next program contains people eating meat, a critical discussion of the #metoo movement, and arguments in favour of free speech. So snowflakes might find the following scenes disturbing."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Nice haircut."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

How Grandma Sees the Remote

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

"We added it just for the millenials."

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

Fred Philpot, Born 1944.

"Generation X, Y or Z? No idea. My brat is Generation SLSLWMAF - Stinkin' Lazy, Still Living with Mom at Forty."

'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'

"Someday when you have children of your own, you’ll understand why I dress you like ‘an idiot.’"

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

Millennials in the Year 2050...

"Thank you for your service."

"It's the Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"Google says it's some form of ancient timing device."

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

'I checked that birds and bees stuff on the internet, Dad -- it says you're full of baloney.'

"Dad, how does the outdoors work without batteries?"

'Such a friendly new neighbour, Cecil - we've been invited to something called a rave-up tonight!'

"How did people waste time before computers?"

"I can't image growing up without computers or cell phones. Your generation had it rough, huh, Dad?"

"Yo! Check it out"

"I'm going to e-mail you this op-ed about how your generation is ruining everything."