Generational Analyst Gifts

"Why should our kids feel entitled to the lives our parents worked so hard to provide for us?"

"OK Boomer."

"The next program contains people eating meat, a critical discussion of the #metoo movement, and arguments in favour of free speech. So snowflakes might find the following scenes disturbing."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

"Nice haircut."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

How Grandma Sees the Remote

'...need to design something to bridge the generation gap.'

"We added it just for the millenials."

'So that's agreed, we terrify people with stories about living to a hundred in poverty and hope that makes them drop dead early.'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

'Webster, is it just me, or do our new employees seem to be younger every year,'

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"Date of birth?" "1989." "In 1989 I couldn't make ice... still can't." "Good lord, she could be my daughter! I'm so #!@* old." "That's the year my wife left me. Now I have a cold and I'm depressed!"

Fred Philpot, Born 1944.

"Someday when you have children of your own, you’ll understand why I dress you like ‘an idiot.’"

In the Year 2525

"Thank you for your service."

"That's right, son. God knew everything before Google."

Millennials in the Year 2050...

"Generation X, Y or Z? No idea. My brat is Generation SLSLWMAF - Stinkin' Lazy, Still Living with Mom at Forty."

'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

T-shirts read: 'Rock against racism' ; 'Classical against antisocial behaviour'

"It's the Silicon Valley foundation - they want to know if we'll match our grandson's $100 million donation."

"Google says it's some form of ancient timing device."

"Dad, how does the outdoors work without batteries?"

'I checked that birds and bees stuff on the internet, Dad -- it says you're full of baloney.'

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

"It's a cereal box. It's not supposed to be interactive!"

'Such a friendly new neighbour, Cecil - we've been invited to something called a rave-up tonight!'

"How did people waste time before computers?"