Generational Commentator Gifts

Whatever in the Sixties?

Pass It On

Some 29-Year-Old Hacker

Well, another year is coming to a close. I'd like to thank you for a job well done, nemesis. I just serve coffee. Yes, but you do it so poorly, as if you have the coordination of a two-year-old. And every word out of your mouth is vapid and narcissistic. Day in and day out, you have provided me with a slovenly example of youth that makes me feel very, very good to be old. So ... good job. That you for being you, loser! I love being important.

'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'

"He's a Boomer."

'I've been called some mean things as a baby boomer, but 'Pig in the Python' really hurts.'

"Nice haircut."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

'Grandpa, what was manufacturing?'

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

'We'll never understand these kids. It's the old evolution gap.'

Not-so-easy listening...

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"It's a fortuitous coincidence that the greatest moments in music history were when I was in high school."

"I got a chocolate bar and gum!" "What the #!@* is 'CBD oil'?!"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, What do you think of younger men? -kl. *(Actual reader letter) Ask Sadie at rudy@rudypark.com. Depends. Younger men have strong jaws and rock-hard abs, but they're missing the sexiest thing: they're not crotchety jerks, set in their ways, willing to argue about anything and say totally stupid things. Hey, doesn't that foul old wretch realize I've got rock-hard abs and a steel jaw?! (This cartoon was originally published on 2014-07-12)

In the Year 2525

"That's right, son. God knew everything before Google."

"It came... it grew... it made Nana say bad words... 'Ow! You rotten #@!!×!' The invasion of the thistle"

"Who knew a lifeless box could spread such fear? It came from the mailbox."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

Annuals, Perennials, Centennials, Millennials

"Relax kid, you're going to be for awhile."

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

"I'm Generation Z. Nice to meet you."

Yeah, I'm taking care of my parents now, too.

"How did people waste time before computers?"

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!

"I can't image growing up without computers or cell phones. Your generation had it rough, huh, Dad?"

"If only these kids had grown up with the same role models we had, then maybe they wouldn't look so damn ridiculous!"

"I'm going to e-mail you this op-ed about how your generation is ruining everything."

Punks with blue/pink hair meet old people with blue/pink rinses.

"I invited my friends over so we can see how much your generation is leaving us to pay off!"