Millennial Commentator Gifts

Metamorphosis: Nature's Magnificent Reveal

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Fur Baby

"He's an indoor cat."

Woke Jersey Shore

'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'

"Avocado...t-toast..."

"I moved to the Internet to be closer to my children."

"No, I do not live in my parents basement...it's a walk out."

"High school uniforms?! Can you imagine everyone wearing the same thing every day!"

"All of a sudden, everyone seems younger than I am."

"Things were really different when I was growing up. Childhoods today are much longer."

Captain Millennial

Man bun tending

Fables for the Millennial.

"Ha! This younger is so absorbed in social media that he cannot appreciate his youth, unlike I, aging millennial, who cannot appreciate his thirties."

"Hurry, son! The economy is almost at full employment! Better get a job before they're all gone!"

"Well, go get a job and move out if your allowance doesn't have the purchasing power it did when you were fourteen."

"So, when you young execs talk about 'phoning it in' there's no actual phone involved?"

Happy Valentine's Day, Millennial,

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the internet had never been invented."

"Emotional support person or not, you cannot bring your Mom to work."

Gluten Free, Wheat Free, Fat Free, Dairy Free, Soy Free, Sugar Free, Recyclable, Sustainable Cupcake

The First Millennial Robin of Spring

"But...I didn't even get my participation trophy! It's not fair!"

Whatever in the Sixties?

"If he wags his tail, it's a 'Like'."

"But first we're going to watch your phone die."

Crybaby Millennials