Generational Ponderer Gifts

'Life is easy for you kids these days! When I was a boy...'

"How did people waste time before computers?"

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, My mother doesn't want me to get a tattoo, but I disagree. I believe that a tattoo would be very attractive. What do you think? - Jessica, rebellious daughter. *(Actual reader letter). Is this serious? Is this a real letter? They're all real. I am stunned. Stunned? What is wrong with children? Defying their mothers? Do you know what would happen if we had defied our parents like that? What? They'd have sent us to live in the old country with our illiterate cousins who left

"Nice haircut."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

"1971... 2015..."

"How come they remember every word of any pop song but not a single line of poetry?"

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

In the Year 2525

Millennials in the Year 2050...

'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'

"That's right, son. God knew everything before Google."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

'They're not reliable.'

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

"All of a sudden, everyone seems younger than I am."

'Such a friendly new neighbour, Cecil - we've been invited to something called a rave-up tonight!'

"Quite frankly I can't wait to see how your generation messes up everything."

"I can't image growing up without computers or cell phones. Your generation had it rough, huh, Dad?"

Contest time. Mort and Sadie, our ornery octogenarians, have decided to rename Rudy's generation. Mort favors Generation I - for impatient. Sadie prefers Generation V - for virtual. Or vapid! What do you think? Please send your own ideas to asksadieshow@gmail.com. C'mon people, get thinkin'!

"We didn't have these cushy escalators when I was a calf. No siree. We had to jump. And I still have the scars to prove it. Wanna see 'em?"

Never Trust Anyone Under Thirty

"I'm going to e-mail you this op-ed about how your generation is ruining everything."

"The best thing about getting old is YouTube wasn't around when we did really stupid stuff."

"...There was no such thing as ordering it through the interwebs, or whatever the heck you call it."

"So, when you young execs talk about 'phoning it in' there's no actual phone involved?"

"So ... is that a Thing now?"

"Answer your question? You mean in real time?"

'Please call me Phil. Dad was my dad's name.'

"I invited my friends over so we can see how much your generation is leaving us to pay off!"

Old Ringed Planet: '( Humph! ) Teenagers.'

Crybaby Millennials

"Why do you look very old, Grannie?"