Generational Critic Gifts

'Damn kids have given binge drinkin' a bad name.'

In the Year 2525

"Nice haircut."

Little boy reading a classic whilst his Dad reads a comic.

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

"1971... 2015..."

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Dear Sadie, I'm just an aging Baby-Boomer who still believes in America, and sees all the good around me, but I don't understand why we've become so mean. How can I feel good about us again? Signed, Marlemarion. Great question. There's an easy answer as to how you can feel better about the world. Change your name to something normal! I just don't agree with the @#$% premise that we've gotten mean.

"That's right, son. God knew everything before Google."

'He was an impressionist. Like that Alistair McGowan...'

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"He wouldn't have rolled over and over in agony on the bombed-out cinder pitches we had to play on!"

"I'm glad you boys let me come along with you...it's nice to see how you kids live life! I mean, with youth on your side, I'm sure you live every moment to the fullest!"

"The floor is now open for discussion of what to name ou generation."

"I'm Generation Z. Nice to meet you."

"I can't image growing up without computers or cell phones. Your generation had it rough, huh, Dad?"

"The second I turn 16 I'm joining a conservative political party and then I'll be able to do whatever I want!"

"My Dad keeps playing the awful originals to my remixes."

"How did people waste time before computers?"

"I'm going to e-mail you this op-ed about how your generation is ruining everything."

'Please call me Phil. Dad was my dad's name.'

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, My mother doesn't want me to get a tattoo, but I disagree. I believe that a tattoo would be very attractive. What do you think? - Jessica, rebellious daughter. *(Actual reader letter). Is this serious? Is this a real letter? They're all real. I am stunned. Stunned? What is wrong with children? Defying their mothers? Do you know what would happen if we had defied our parents like that? What? They'd have sent us to live in the old country with our illiterate cousins who left

"I invited my friends over so we can see how much your generation is leaving us to pay off!"

"So, when you young execs talk about 'phoning it in' there's no actual phone involved?"

"OK Boomer."

"That's where we smoke the e-cigarettes.'

Generation Hexed

"When I was young, we had a lot of hair and no tattoos. Now everything's all reversed."

"Why should our kids feel entitled to the lives our parents worked so hard to provide for us?"

Generation-I. Generation-V. What're you old folks doing? Renaming your generation. I'm thinking Generation I - 'cause you're living virtual lives. Where'd he go? Got bored after 10 seconds and left to send an instant message to someone across the room.

'Kids today eh What do they look like'

Whatever in the Sixties?

Rudy, you wanna know possible names for your generation? Huh? The L-Generation for loser, the C-generation for clueless or connected, J for jerk or W for whiners. These readers suggestions all have something in common. None of them won the contest to name Rudy's generation. Not that we're taunting the non-winners. C'mon, taunt the losers!! Winner to be named any day now.

"I'm eighteen, Clay. I don't have to work out."

'Life is easy for you kids these days! When I was a boy...'