Adult Industry Professional Gifts

'And if you're thinking of setting up an interactive sex site - might I recommend this easy to use web-cam.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

What can I do? He says it's his thinking cap.

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

This cream won't get rid of cellulite...it just makes it easier to slide into your jeans.

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

Introducing... The Everything Else Morning-After Pill!

Important Food Groups

Jewellery Shop: Disposable income spoken here.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

A balloon seller is selling thought bubble balloons

"Business is booming! Come in and see our explosive sales today!"

"I go that extra mile!"

'Now I know why they threw in the printer for free. It's only got a resolution of one dot per 8 12 inches.'

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"Earth – Love the brand, hate the owners."

"But will it distract the public's attention enough that they mindlessly buy our products?"

'This wasn't what I meant by viral marketing...but if you can get it to work.'

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

I think you'll appreciate my resume. It's printed on a fridge magnet.

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

"The news is so fake, the ads are beginning to look honest."

"Well, after ad school, our Timothy made a 6-second Ad that nobody saw."

At the mobile tracking test lab.

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand