Entertainment Industry Professional Gifts

"Remember, Kimberly, I'm more than your agent. I'm your mother."

'The Final Merger'

'This business isn't just about who you know. It's about who you can remember.'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

Talent Agency: Here Today/Gone Tomorrow.

J2 productions - a harassment-free company

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

Who's Who - I still don't know who's Ant and who's Dec.

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

Maps to the Hovels of Would Be Stars.

Lousy agent.

The award for the cutest baby concieved during an on-screen copulation...

A very embarrassing person

'With NBC all those years, and never a bonus, stock option or retirement plan...'

Sid Sinatra.

'Old blue-screen's back!'

Trump commissions song

'I figured if you have to work for a living then why not do it HERE!'

Jamie Theakston

An audience with an audience!

'I've received celebrity status!'

Maisie Williams

"Your honor, in lieu of jail time, my client is willing to appear on 'I'm a celebrity - get me out of here!'"

Cara Delevingne

'Absolutely right, Ronnie - the hardest art is getting started to become famous by being famous."

"You don't have to tell me about the sacrifices a girl makes to get into show biz."

Hollywood Removing the Stars of Sex Abusers

Hollywood Sex Scandal

"Sorry kid, potty humor has a place, but not in this agency."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"We tried like hell to get Streisand tickets, but we ended up renting 'Yentl.' "

"In terms of career guidance, access to A-list talent, and studio relationships, you couldn't sign with a better rehab clinic."

"Just follow me around for a day with a camera. It would make a great reality TV show. ... I'm serious."

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."