Career In Entertainment Gifts

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"It's a play on words."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Mum, I got the job!"

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

Moulin Rouge Security

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

Stunt lemmings.

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

JET (Part I)

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

Siegfried and Roy - grand re-opening.

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"You're looking at the next Bob Dylan."

TV stage door

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

'Therapy in L.A.'

CELEBRITY NEWS TEAM"Now here's Frank Sinatra with the weather."

"Er. . . anything else?"

'The Final Merger'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'