Entertainment Worker Gifts

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

"Ahem."

'My job? Well, I do the laugh tracks for a number of sitcoms on TV...'

Moulin Rouge Security

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

In, out, shake it all about.

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

Sid Sinatra.

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

Stunt lemmings.

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

"Er. . . anything else?"

TV stage door

"That's the Bronco Whisperer. He'll have that wild stallion broken in a day or two."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

"You're looking at the next Bob Dylan."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'The Final Merger'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

Casting Director

Trump commissions song

At the celebrity jobcentre...