New Job In Entertainment Gifts

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

"Er. . . anything else?"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"It's a play on words."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Mum, I got the job!"

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

'What luck! A sound technician.'

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

Moulin Rouge Security

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

Stunt lemmings.

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

After his first day, Lester, the new accountant for Acme Solar, Wind & Biomass Energy, Corp., realized he had become a green bean counter.

TV stage door

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

Man has a seatbelt and 'calm down tablets' to watch the world news.

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."