Entertainment Worker T-Shirts

"Wait a minute... You're not Warren Gurkenman the famous actor, but his stuntman?!"

"Ahem."

'My job? Well, I do the laugh tracks for a number of sitcoms on TV...'

Moulin Rouge Security

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

In, out, shake it all about.

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

Stunt lemmings.

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"Because of illness, the role of Mimi in tonight's performance will be sung by a temp."

"That's the Bronco Whisperer. He'll have that wild stallion broken in a day or two."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"Er. . . anything else?"

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

TV stage door

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"You're looking at the next Bob Dylan."

'The Final Merger'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

Casting Director

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

'And who are you wearing?'

At the celebrity jobcentre...

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."