Entertainment Professional T-Shirts

"Your case has been turned down by Oprah, but we're appealing to Sally Jessy Raphael."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

The exploding chicken bit

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Heterosexual actor auditions.

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Empty box of ideas

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"It's a play on words."

"Mum, I got the job!"

'I got this one for thinking outside the box.'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

On-the-job creativity may go unrewarded an may even create consternation among co-workers.

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

How to get from A to Z. Right brain versus left brain.

Moulin Rouge Security

"We had a brainstorm - I hope it's a brainchild."

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"But some of my best ideas come while I'm in the litter box."

Stunt lemmings.

Toenail clipping missile.

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

"We're hoping that someday Rosalie will be a major player in the creative economy."

Patents office.