Entertainment Expert T-Shirts

Trustworthy Authority.

"I support you one hundred per cent in your battle against upfront fees..."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

"Nice of you to bring wine, but we don't drink anything that sells for under a dollar a gallon."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

Succession 2

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

Starvation Watching

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

"Lets watch a martial arts movie."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

NBS Programming Department. Who have we got to interview Michael Jackson? We've got it narrowed down to Stephen King or Leonard Nimoy.

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."