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Dolly Parton

A man watching television sees that the Apathy channel has been canceled due to a lack of interest.

"Aaar! I don't even know what I believe in anymore!"

'The following program was made possible by canceling an even WORSE program.'

'The following program was made possible by canceling an even WORSE program.'

"Don't be long, Dear, you don't want to miss Celebrity Hari Kari on TV."

The Ultimate Reality TV

A new TV format: "The day after the funniest home videos".

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

Difference of Opinion

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Proud of herself for "never owning a tv" Emily watches eight episodes of a mediocre tv show on her laptop while in bed.

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

The americanisation of vulture.

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

Armageddon

Can't Touch This

'What does it say, Dad?'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

A cross section of the brain shows what a man thinks about.

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

"Welcome to Sugar Free Farm! The reality show, where celebs go cold turkey on their sugar addictions for two weeks."

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"Son, the world is full of disappointments. About 7.7 billion of them."

'It's not much of a soap opera with just that Adam guy.'

"I like it but does it get only the one channel?"

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'It's not as impressive as it looks. He only watches fishing shows.'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

'I know I don't look like a matinee idol of yesteryear anymore, but neither do they!'

Snow White and her Seven people.