Amusement Expert T-Shirts

'Sorry, Jimmy... the chameleons never seem to be out.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

Fist Bumper Cars

"Even if forced to slave all day, in my mind I'll always play!"

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

You must be this tall.

'This is my kind of place. You knock bottles off a table with a baseball and get a prize instead of time-out!'

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

Wet Cement. Always the joker, aren't you, Ernie?

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

4 Reasons People Love Oktoberfest

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

How the goat got square eyes.

'...Please stop the...'

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

Children sitting in bumper cars playing on their cellphones.

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

Boys Cooking

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

Fade to black...

"Well, there's never going to be a perfect time to start a family."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'He's having so much fun doing his job that I'm going to have to start charging him an admission.'

Summer Outing Planning

Child climbs up alphabet bricks to reach his teddy bear.

'What luck, Mom! There's no line over at the Super-Lippty-Comet Coaster that's even bigger than this one.'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"If you ask me, a day at the beach is no damn day at the beach."

"I knew something didn't sound right!"

Come dine with me!