Amusement Advocate T-Shirts

You must be this tall and this far apart to ride

'What's play?'

Fist Bumper Cars

"With the current state of the world, it's heartwarming to see kids having good old-fashioned, innocent fun in the snow."

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

The lesser known active volcanoes.

"If you take a vacation, you're not expected to return."

Clive Anderson

'First item on the agenda...Throw out the agenda!!'

Toilet Humour: 'Did you hear about the constipated human?'

'You have the right to remain silent...'

The stilt walkers union on strike

Children playing hopscotch wrong.

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

He'll have to go!

'I'll give you sit-down-strike! Just you get this room tidied up by bedtime!'

'Sorry, Jimmy... the chameleons never seem to be out.'

Face painting vs bottom painting

'Hey, you two! Stop that.'

"Go out and play, Norman—it's your job."

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

'What's a knee like yours doing in a joint like this?'

Harried worker to colleague: 'It's all about vacation, vacation, vacation!'

"There will be plenty of time for playing after you get into college."

'I'm not eating that - it hasn't been advertised on the telly...'

"I told you not to bump your sister so hard"

'I swear, one of these days I'm going to win one!'

Otter Tattoos

'We've turned guessing the percentage hike in our gas bills into a game for all the family.'

"I'm an athlete the way Buzzy here is an apex predator."

"Instead of telling you what happens when you don't wear sunscreen, just look at your dad."

'The doctor said he needed more activity, so I hide his TV remote three times a week.'

'You'll have to let Billy go out and play. You forgot to mirandize him.'

Phone Catch

'After a weekend of water sports, I'm convinced kneeboarding is also torture.'