Amusement Advocate Pillows

You must be this tall and this far apart to ride

'What's play?'

Fist Bumper Cars

"With the current state of the world, it's heartwarming to see kids having good old-fashioned, innocent fun in the snow."

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

The lesser known active volcanoes.

"If you take a vacation, you're not expected to return."

'First item on the agenda...Throw out the agenda!!'

Clive Anderson

Toilet Humour: 'Did you hear about the constipated human?'

'You have the right to remain silent...'

Children playing hopscotch wrong.

The stilt walkers union on strike

He'll have to go!

'Dad said that experience is the best teacher, so I cut school and went to the video arcade.'

Face painting vs bottom painting

'I'll give you sit-down-strike! Just you get this room tidied up by bedtime!'

'Hey, you two! Stop that.'

"Go out and play, Norman—it's your job."

'Sorry, Jimmy... the chameleons never seem to be out.'

"Since you don't know how to play house, you can be the dad."

'What's a knee like yours doing in a joint like this?'

"There will be plenty of time for playing after you get into college."

Harried worker to colleague: 'It's all about vacation, vacation, vacation!'

'I'm not eating that - it hasn't been advertised on the telly...'

'I swear, one of these days I'm going to win one!'

"I told you not to bump your sister so hard"

Otter Tattoos

"Instead of telling you what happens when you don't wear sunscreen, just look at your dad."

"I'm an athlete the way Buzzy here is an apex predator."

'I'm doing my bit to develop a global response as part of Fonterra's infant formula risk management strategy.'

'We've turned guessing the percentage hike in our gas bills into a game for all the family.'

'The doctor said he needed more activity, so I hide his TV remote three times a week.'

'You'll have to let Billy go out and play. You forgot to mirandize him.'

"No one's last words were 'I wish I'd done more homework.'"