Amusement Expert Pillows

'Sorry, Jimmy... the chameleons never seem to be out.'

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Remember, pregnancy is like taking an exciting thrill ride at an amusement park only the seats are larger."

"Even if forced to slave all day, in my mind I'll always play!"

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Fist Bumper Cars

You must be this tall.

'This is my kind of place. You knock bottles off a table with a baseball and get a prize instead of time-out!'

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"WOW...this 50.1 theatre sound system makes you feel you're actually in the movie!"

'What's the big thrill about Budgie Jumping!?'

"Hey! I can see the Empire State Building!"

How the goat got square eyes.

'Danae's spent all this week writing new amendments, which I can only assume means she doesn't know what it'll take to get them into the constitution...so I sent her a link on the process...'

4 Reasons People Love Oktoberfest

'...Please stop the...'

Clown couple in bed with wavy mirror above their bed.

"Well, you said your glasses needed cleaning!"

Children sitting in bumper cars playing on their cellphones.

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

"So you dreamed you were an adult?"

Boys Cooking

"Well, there's never going to be a perfect time to start a family."

Fade to black...

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'He's having so much fun doing his job that I'm going to have to start charging him an admission.'

Summer Outing Planning

Come dine with me!

"If you ask me, a day at the beach is no damn day at the beach."

Child climbs up alphabet bricks to reach his teddy bear.

'What luck, Mom! There's no line over at the Super-Lippty-Comet Coaster that's even bigger than this one.'