Entertainment Industry Professionals T-Shirts

"A movie deal, a recording contract, clothing line, rehab, first marriage, fragrance, baby, second marriage, reality show …"

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'Gosh, really? You've never been on any reality show at all?'

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"Mum, I got the job!"

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

"What we're looking for is someone who think outside the box?"

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

Moulin Rouge Security

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

Sid Sinatra.

Derek and Clive (Dudley Moore and Peter Cook).

Stunt lemmings.

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

Don't touch that dial! — We're experts, and we know what you should be watching!

'Therapy in L.A.'

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"The script is flimsy, the action scenes implausible and the plot would insult the intelligence of a three year old."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"It's a long-term strategy to make them lazy and complacent first."

'The Final Merger'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

'Sure, I cam up with fire, and the wheel, but you're only as good as your last idea.'

Note to self: Call lawyer, ask if he has any experience with charges of treason. What's lawyer got to do … got to do with it … What? What are you doing? Tina Turner. My second favorite singer, after Clay Aiken. She's amazing. I investigated every single one of her concerts. Good times. Wanna see my Tina Turner tattoo? I'm not a Russian spy!! What is this, 1985?! Good year. Tina was in "Mad Max" that year.

"I see you do all your own stunts."

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

Trump commissions song

"California has always been too big for its britches."