Alcohol Industry Professional Gifts

'But our secret ingredient is large quantities of Hilberg beer.'

'Somehow, somewhere, someone's skimming the profits.'

"It'll cut into our profit margin if we encourage them to drink responsibly."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'The Final Merger'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

Tonto Casino.

'You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to unwind after work.'

Trump commissions song

'NEW! Runs on alcohol' 'What a coincidence - so does he.'

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

'And who are you wearing?'

"When I grow up I'd like to model for a pasta company."

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

'The dept. of agriculture says yes, the environmental protection agency says maybe, and the food and drug administration says no.'

"Remember, Kimberly, I'm more than your agent. I'm your mother."

'I'm all for GM food, it's done wonders for my profit margins!'

Beer companies merge.

'I've received celebrity status!'

Something Grown Something Shot.

"Just follow me around for a day with a camera. It would make a great reality TV show. ... I'm serious."