Adult Film Industry Professional Gifts

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

'The Final Merger'

"We interrupt this rubbish to give you another chance to switch off."

Casting Director

'Our ratings are down. Let's blame it on the media.'

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

"You're going out there an annoying, mannered girl, but you're going to come back an indie queen."

Trump commissions song

"Abra-Viagra."

"I can sleep late, but, as his agent, I still get ten percent of the worm."

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

"I see you do all your own stunts."

Actors getting married. 'Best supporting man'

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

'And who are you wearing?'

"Remember, Kimberly, I'm more than your agent. I'm your mother."

'Which way to the 'Waterworld' exhibit?'

HornyWood

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

"Your case has been turned down by Oprah, but we're appealing to Sally Jessy Raphael."