Film Industry Professional Gifts

A man exits his house to a clapboard.

'I'm sorry, Ralph, but you didn't make the final cut.'

"Bob, you're just not selling me on you essential hamburgerness."

Entering California

'We don't know what the final result will look like, but the movie rights have already been optioned.'

"Weinstein left Tinseltown, its hills decked with his final message to the Democrats."

Used to work in the subtitles business but got laid off...

'I've had a massive career, considering both doggy and Hollywood years.'

'I can finance your conversion to digital, but you'll owe me your soul.'

HornyWood

"When they give his stalker an award for 'Best Supporting Role' I know something is wrong with this business."

"Regarding this hobby of yours...'Stuntman'..."

Ken Loach

Jennifer Shrader Lawrence

"I had to put on thirty pounds for this role."

"Is Michael Eisner O.K.? I haven't seen his name in the papers for days."

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

"Tiffany tells me you were at Sundance."

"First, I storyboarded it."

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

Cinemaplex

"You're going out there an annoying, mannered girl, but you're going to come back an indie queen."

"O.K., so no animals were harmed, but were they adequately compensated?"

A panhandler with a sign that reads "I'll never work in this town again!".

"I see you do all your own stunts."

Best Stunt Driver

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

Fleapit rebranded as Cinema Parasito

"They offered me the part, but the guy was too sleazy."

"I'm thinking action roles might not really be your thing."

"Listen, I'm speaking to you not just as your agent, but also as a parasite."

Jack Reynolds, leper stunt man.