Admissions Officers Gifts

"I'm afraid you could do better work in order to get your daughter into this school."

Schengen

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

UK border controls relaxed.

A very young man being hired as a groom.

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

Europe and immigration.

Vaccination Passport

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

'I have serious doubts about the efficiency of that new 'apples and bucket' hiring test.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"We had to lay off most of the staff to pay for the recruitment and training of new staff to replace the staff we laid off."

'Remember that promotion you were asking for last month, , ,Well, something just opened up,'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

End of Affirmative Action

"Did I say 'corner office'? I meant 'corner of my office'."

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

"Our focus here is on the arts. Is he pottery trained?"

'Due to budget cuts we are having to take on more temporary staff.'

'Anything to declare?'

"So are you an EU national, economic migrant or asylum seeker?"

Southwick College: Basically, for the most part, usually - a meritocracy.

'The really scary part is that he is the new head of human resources.'

"Can we see some ID please?" "We're indigenous Americans... What tribe are you guys from?"

Hi, I work at the admissions office of the local university. If you could change the world in three days, what would you do?

Man guarding a written border.

Private School Interview - 'How much do your parents weigh?'

"We only hire temps, and you have a look of permanence about you."

'W e e e l l . . . my mum says I'm good at testing the patience of saints'

'Illegal immigrants, if you ask me.'