College Admissions Counselor Gifts

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'How dare you deny my son's application because of his low SAT scores! Everyone knows that test is culturally biased.'

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

"Yes Dad, I passed math and now I'm passing chemistry and physics."

"I had all the right answers, but I had them in the wrong order."

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'Another football scholarship offer?'

"You know what happens when you make good grades? They send you to another school called college."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

Saving for College.

'This scholarship application is great. You must have received an A in creative writing.'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"You'll never make it as a doctor with handwriting like this. I understood every word."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

'I wanted to ask you about life-experience credit.'

Treadway college - A little knowledge, a lot of tuition.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

College game crowd: 'WE WON',,,'and that somehow makes you superior'

'Cat Lit. You?'