Zodiac Zealot Gifts

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Want to hear your horoscope today? It's a hoot!"

'Your horoscope says 'a brilliant day for adventure and romance'.'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Woman guessing an unusual looking man's star sign..'Taurean'

'No kidding! I'm a Leo too!'

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

'Invade Poland?!....Invade Poland?! - What, with Neptune rising in Virgo!?'

'You're a Librarian, I'm a Virgo, we could be good for each other.'

Ill next Thursday

"So which is your star sign, big boy?"

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

"Your moon is squaring Saturn, so I can tell you're shy and withdrawn."

"The sun is in the third house."

"According to your horoscope today is a good day to change the habits of a lifetime."

"I've always felt I was a Taurus trapped in a Libra's body."

Gemini

"He's a nice enough guy, but he never shuts up. Sometimes, I wish VIrgos really were mutable."

The Year of the Tigger

"My birthday is actually in September, but I've always identified as an Aries."

'I said I'm Libra - not liberal!'

"Moon in your sign highlights change. Make clean break. Try to get out more."

Horoscope: Capricorn.

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

"Can he call you back? Before Mr. Folger invests any of his own money, he consults his personal astrologer."

"All mine says is that I often give in to feelings of envy and that I should appreciate what I have. But your horoscope is better."

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

I knew my niche market would someday be validated! It's the blue-eyed, left handed, Sagittarius network!

'I'd like to see you again, but our signs aren't compatible. I'm a Gemini and you're an idiot.'

'It'll never work, Rod! I'm a sagittarius and you're out of work!'

'Hmphh, your horoscope says you're going to have a date, with a Taurus, and I'm a Gemini.'

Horoscope: Scorpio.

Typical Taurus.

"What's your sign?" "Everything but Pisces."

"Gemini. You?"