Zodiac Zanies Gifts

'What's my fortune then?!

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Ill next Thursday

'No kidding! I'm a Leo too!'

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

Year of the Rat

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

"So, what is your star sign?"

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'... And here's one I made earlier.'

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

"It's my New Year!"

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

"So tell me what's your sign?"

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'I'll be right with you. I'm reading my horoscope.'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

'Your experimental protocol fails to take into consideration, the astrological signs of the fruit flies.'

"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."

Libra/scales

"I don't suppose we could discuss this when my Mars isn't in opposition to your Sun?"

'I think the new convertible is because they're going through a mid-life Pisces.'