Zany Zodiac Enthusiast Gifts

Cat Horoscopes: 'You will spend the day curled up on the comfy chair. In the evening expect a treat from your owner for being so good.'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Animal Band.

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

'Please all just sit down and fasten your seat belts!!'

Year of the Rat

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

"So, what is your star sign?"

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

"What the hell do you mean you don't think it's mine?!"

"So tell me what's your sign?"

"It's my New Year!"

'What's my fortune then?!

'Today's horoscope...Uranus is shining brightly and you'll have a chance encounter with a Leo...Huh!...what a load of mumbo jumbo'

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'I'll be right with you. I'm reading my horoscope.'

"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

"Can you wait just a minute while I check my latest horoscope?"

'I've finished your horoscope, Bucky.'

Libra/scales

'I like to give them a sporting chance.'

Date night between a Capricorn and Sagittarius.

"Wow! I bet you're a Pisces or Aquarius!"

"I don't suppose we could discuss this when my Mars isn't in opposition to your Sun?"

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!