Zany Humor Fan Gifts

Z is for Zachary Zeus, a Zany zebra from Zambia flying a Zeppelin with an unzipped zipper while sipping Zinfandel wine with a zucchini garnish and looking oh so zippy-dee-do-da...

Faster, Georges, faster!

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'-and you're living proof that ALL men are not born equal, runt!'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

'They help with my nicotine patch addiction.'

Trump Poutine

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Winter Weather.

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

'More government surveillance!'

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

'Would you do me the honour of becoming tax advantaged with me?'

The Thinker?

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

'Yes, I'm sure Latestagrossa is the patient's name, and not the disease!'

'I've had a few short stories published, but I'd really like to write 'the Great American How to Write a Novel.''

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"

How men process questions.

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"He is walking from 'Lands end to John'o'Groats', virtually."

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'I let my merit badges do the talking.'

Greenspanisms for sale (50c)