Zany Zoophile Gifts

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

"That's mine!"

Pregnant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo: 'Congratulations, Wilkinshaw...'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'...Do not feed the bears'

The slug replaces the cheetah as the fastest animal on earth.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"I'm afraid that you have gnumonia."

Animal Band.

'Please all just sit down and fasten your seat belts!!'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'170 years old - and they look that age from day one!'

"What the hell do you mean you don't think it's mine?!"

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

"I think the zoo is in financial trouble: the keepers have replaced all the 'do not feed the animals' signs by 'please do feed the animals'..."

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

'Doctor, your glasses!'

"Go ahead if you see something you like, but I'm afraid my fast food days are over."

Doctor to aardvark: 'Nothing serious. You have ants in your pants.'

'... And here's one I made earlier.'

"What do you mean you don't have a spot? We had reservations."

Zoo dentist.

'Petting-Zoo employee: Now, that sounds like a good job...'

"I'm here researching a role. I'm about to play a Senator."

Zoo Employees

'-and can you describe this elephant,sir?'

'Today's horoscope...Uranus is shining brightly and you'll have a chance encounter with a Leo...Huh!...what a load of mumbo jumbo'

'Well, I don't care how you did it at home, Walters, this is not how we handle this sorta thing at seaworld...'

'I like to give them a sporting chance.'

'See that kid, there? I delivered him. He never calls, he never writes...'

'Crusty Cobbler' Bread in captivity.