Zany Zoophile T-Shirts

"That vulture just appeared and started picking at my phone. My battery must have died."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

"That's mine!"

Pregnant Panda at Edinburgh Zoo: 'Congratulations, Wilkinshaw...'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 15

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'Geez, I hate these fun runs!'

'...Do not feed the bears'

The slug replaces the cheetah as the fastest animal on earth.

"Do excuse me, I've got a nuttiness allergy."

"I'm afraid that you have gnumonia."

Animal Band.

'Please all just sit down and fasten your seat belts!!'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'170 years old - and they look that age from day one!'

"What the hell do you mean you don't think it's mine?!"

'She hunts, she brings it back, and my manhood,thank goodness, remains intact.'

'The Polite Lions' - a new sim game - "We've already got chairs, thank you."

"I think the zoo is in financial trouble: the keepers have replaced all the 'do not feed the animals' signs by 'please do feed the animals'..."

'Doctor, your glasses!'

Doctor to aardvark: 'Nothing serious. You have ants in your pants.'

"Go ahead if you see something you like, but I'm afraid my fast food days are over."

"What do you mean you don't have a spot? We had reservations."

'... And here's one I made earlier.'

"I'm here researching a role. I'm about to play a Senator."

Zoo dentist.

'Petting-Zoo employee: Now, that sounds like a good job...'

Zoo Employees

'-and can you describe this elephant,sir?'

'Today's horoscope...Uranus is shining brightly and you'll have a chance encounter with a Leo...Huh!...what a load of mumbo jumbo'

'I like to give them a sporting chance.'

'Well, I don't care how you did it at home, Walters, this is not how we handle this sorta thing at seaworld...'

'See that kid, there? I delivered him. He never calls, he never writes...'