Zodiac Aficionados Gifts

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

"So, what is your star sign?"

Year of the Rat

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"I'm your sun!"

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Angel with speed camera.

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'I'm a Pisces.'

"It's my New Year!"

"So tell me what's your sign?"

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."

'I'll be right with you. I'm reading my horoscope.'

'I think the new convertible is because they're going through a mid-life Pisces.'

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

Date night between a Capricorn and Sagittarius.

"I don't suppose we could discuss this when my Mars isn't in opposition to your Sun?"

Angels aren't lackeys - do thine own work.

'God wants to see you.'

"Wow! I bet you're a Pisces or Aquarius!"

Libra/scales

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!