Zodiac Lovers Gifts

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Capricorn/goat

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

"So, what is your star sign?"

Year of the Rat

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

"It's my New Year!"

'I'm a Pisces.'

"So tell me what's your sign?"

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'I'll be right with you. I'm reading my horoscope.'

"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."

"The sign of the sun has been a big influence on his local life, it's his local pub."

Date night between a Capricorn and Sagittarius.

Libra/scales

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

"Wow! I bet you're a Pisces or Aquarius!"

'...and according to our star signs we're perfectly matched!'

"I know it's a little old-fashioned, but I'm a Capricorn, and I thought it would be romantic if I carried you over the cusp of our First House."

"Can you wait just a minute while I check my latest horoscope?"

'I think the new convertible is because they're going through a mid-life Pisces.'

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

"I don't suppose we could discuss this when my Mars isn't in opposition to your Sun?"

'I told you I refuse to be born today. I don't want to be Aries.'

2019 Chinese New Year of the Pig

Unicorn/Capricorn

'Well I don't care what these placemats say. I think we're perfect for each other.'

Psychic news - 'This guy fancies me'.