Zodiac Enthusiasts Gifts

In the Chinese calendar I must have been born in the year of the rented mule.

"I was actually born in September, but I identify as a Pisces."

'Well I don't care what these placemats say. I think we're perfect for each other.'

"What star sign am I?... Well, that depends. My body is Leo, my brain is Taurus, but in my heart I'm a Virgo."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Year of the Rat

You will awake to discover a dream come true.

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

"So, what is your star sign?"

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

Angel with speed camera.

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

"I'm your sun!"

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

"So tell me what's your sign?"

'I'm a Pisces.'

'I don't believe in astrology. I think that's because I'm a Leo.'

'According to my horoscope one of us is going on a long journey.'

"It's my New Year!"

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'I'll be right with you. I'm reading my horoscope.'

'Your horoscope says you're going to have a nasty accident today.'

"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

Angels aren't lackeys - do thine own work.

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

"I don't suppose we could discuss this when my Mars isn't in opposition to your Sun?"

Heaven will look great on our r