Zodiac Enthusiasts Pillows

"I was actually born in September, but I identify as a Pisces."

'Well I don't care what these placemats say. I think we're perfect for each other.'

"What star sign am I?... Well, that depends. My body is Leo, my brain is Taurus, but in my heart I'm a Virgo."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

You will awake to discover a dream come true.

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

"So, what is your star sign?"

Year of the Rat

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Angel with speed camera.

"I'm your sun!"

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

'I don't believe in astrology. I think that's because I'm a Leo.'

"It's my New Year!"

'I'm a Pisces.'

'According to my horoscope one of us is going on a long journey.'

"So tell me what's your sign?"

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'I'll be right with you. I'm reading my horoscope.'

'Your horoscope says you're going to have a nasty accident today.'

"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

Your Star.

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

"I don't suppose we could discuss this when my Mars isn't in opposition to your Sun?"

"And do you have any other form of security against a loan other than this 'Good times are coming' horoscope?"

'God wants to see you.'

Libra/scales