Star Sign Lover Gifts

'Hey, don't tell me - you're a capricorn?'

'Ha, Ha, your horoscope says you should nurture a new relationship!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Beware of God"

'Before I undertake my journey, I require you to make me a warrior's headband.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Ill next Thursday

'Every time I pass through here I get heartburn.'

"We're not compatible. I'm a Virgo and your an idiot..."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

"It's beautiful, isn't it? It will keep you safe."

". . . and in the corner to my right, weighing 217 pounds, fighting as a Capricorn with Capricorn rising and Mars conjunct Uranus in the fifth, out of Beaufort, South Carolinaaa. . ."

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

Horoscope: Sagittarius. You could visualize the results of some of your plans when the perfect partner comes to your aid.

Date night between a Capricorn and Sagittarius.

Joan was a true believer in Astrology. However, this was the first time she had come face to face with a real member of the Zodiac... a giant scorpio!

'And our star signs are perfectly compatible!'

'True, the Ezra Yomp Scholarship is very generous, but you have to be a capricorn to apply.'

"People take it more seriously than 'Please don't pinch the peaches'."

"Wow! I bet you're a Pisces or Aquarius!"

"Her Taurus was in opposition to my Libra."

'...and according to our star signs we're perfectly matched!'

Guy lost in the desert, sign says, You DEFINITELY Aren't Here!!

'Capricorns have all the luck.'

'Here's your problem. The software was manufactured in November and your computer was manufactured in February. Sagittarius is incompatible with Aquarius.'

"What do my stars say today?"

'That's cute. You're a Virgo and I'm a vegetarian.'

Gemini/people

Entering September

"So, you're certain that it will be okay for me to travel during December ... "