Zodiac Fan Gifts

'There's a flaw in your experimental design. All the mice are libras.'

Happy Chinese New Year To You

I see from your C.V. that you are a Scorpio and your favourite colour is red.

'My horoscope said unexpected company will be dropping in on me today.'

Gemini/people

Happy New 2020 Year!

Happy New Year

"We're following Carrot Top."

William Shakespeare sitting at a desk

'I sense that someone is about to swindle you.' 'Wow, thanks for the warning! How much do I owe you?'

"Tallyho!"

"You're worried about salmonella? We're vultures for cripes sake!"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

The Da Vinci Cod

"Hey Neil, you wanna come hang out with us today?"

"A wise choice sir! Aah. . . Da Vinci - a genius of the Renaissance and a man who changed the face of art forever! Would you like that as a bookmark, a pencil sharpener or a fridge magnet. . . ?"

Zoo. Diet Clinic. Hey everybody --- There's no longer an 800-pound gorilla in the room!

You're my Venus

'It was great seeing you again Terry, we must do wildebeest sometime.'

Rogue elephant

"I needed that. It's a swamp out there."

'You call yourself a zebra? Where'd you get those stripes, in a zoo?'

Ill next Thursday

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

tiger strangling snakes

Nostradamus.

'Of course, the future isn't what it used to be.'

Rembrandt's Selfies

"So, what is your star sign?"

Year of the Rat

"I'm not loitering officer, I 'm waiting for the next renaissance!"

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

"Another selfie, Rembrandt?"

'Brachiating?! Kids these days... whatever happened to good old fashioned swinging?!'

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.