Zodiacs Gifts

Aries/ram

'...and according to our star signs we're perfectly matched!'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

Ill next Thursday

'No kidding! I'm a Leo too!'

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

'You're a water sign and I'm an earth sign. . .Together we're mud.'

Year of the Rat

"So, what is your star sign?"

Astrology meets computer science. You think all computers are gemine? Yeah, they're born under a binary system.

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

"No, I'm afraid Pluto is never in the dog house."

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

'Hmphh, your horoscope says you're going to have a date, with a Taurus, and I'm a Gemini.'

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'I'm a Pisces.'

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

"So tell me what's your sign?"

I knew my niche market would someday be validated! It's the blue-eyed, left handed, Sagittarius network!

"It's my New Year!"

'What's my fortune then?!