Zodiac Study Gifts

"Can you wait just a minute while I check my latest horoscope?"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

'It wouldn't work - you're Leo and I'm Sagittarius.'

"...Wow, if Malcolm Gladwell is right, we need to get a cat who's a Virgo ASAP!"

"The Chinese Zodiac told me to marry a sheep. Who am I to question hundreds of years of ancient Chinese wisdom?"

'If you had been born two days later you'd have been kind and clever with a great sense of humour.'

"Lighten up! Your charts aren't that bad."

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

'No wonder I'm exhausted. Look at my horoscope.'

"Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, for richer or poorer, in sickness or in health, when Jupiter is in his 6th house or Saturn is in his 2nd, until death do you part?"

'No kidding! I'm a Leo too!'

Ill next Thursday

"Your moon is in the House of Pancakes."

Year of the Rat

You will awake to discover a dream come true.

"So, what is your star sign?"

Yeah, well, I only failed my logic exam because I'm a Pisces and my professor's a Leo.

"As an astronomer, this discovery heralds a new golden age of academic fervor for mathematicians and astrophysicists across the globe. As a Sagittarius, I'm fucked."

It says, you're going to meet a nice Pisces for a romantic dinner.

'Don't you think it's strange that all snakes are Aries, Taurus or Gemini...?'

'Yeah, I'm a trife scorpio - what of it?'

"I'd be a lot more comfortable with a Pisces."

Mama Z'Belle...astrologer...your fortune based on the science of astronomy: 'Oh, oh it looks like your chart has shifted red...'

Al, you look nonplussed. I just heard that they discovered a new astrological sign, and my birthday now falls under the sign of the jackass.

Eve makes a discovery with far reaching ramifications. Our star signs aren't compatible.

'I don't believe in astrology. I think that's because I'm a Leo.'

"29 degrees in Scorpio? What's that in Fahrenheit?"

'I'm a Pisces.'

"It's my New Year!"

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

'According to my horoscope one of us is going on a long journey.'

"So tell me what's your sign?"

'Why, yes, I am a Capricorn...how did you know?'

'Your horoscope says you're going to have a nasty accident today.'

"Libra (September 23-October 23): Busy, busy, busy."